Returning Catholics

Mysticism is Not Scary

2010-09-22T18:02:00.000-07:00

When you hear the word "mysticism," what does that conjure up in your hear? Unfortunately, for many there is a dark picture with rolling fog and frightening chanting and a foreboding. In reality, mysticism is something that is quite the opposite and very much needed in the Church today. As the 500th anniversary of the birth of one of the Catholic Church's greatest mystics approaches, it is a good time to discuss mysticism.

St. Teresa was fortunate enough to develop a very close relationship with God in Christ. The relationship became a friendship and this friendship allowed Teresa to experience the knowledge that God was within her and she was within God. And there is the basis for mysticism--that ability to know that God is within us and we are within God. Can you imagine a real and true friendship with God. I am not talking about that warm, fuzzy feeling you get after a particualrly good homily or when you did something nice for someone (although, these are wonderful feelings). I mean the feeling to know that you know that God is your friend. The closeness that St. Teresa felt is something we may all want to aspire to!

But, there is more to mysticism than feeling good. Mysticism allows us to come close to God and make a difference in our own lives and the lives of everyone in the world. I grew up with the impression that mystics were hermit-like creatures who were "in it for themselves." I had that feeling for years growing up. For me this whole idea of mysticism seemed very selfish. But, to the contrary! The mystic is impelled by the very closeness of God to seek God's Will for the world! The mystic is responsibile for praying for the world and for peace and justice in all corners of the world. Mystics are needed to introduce the One, True God to a hurting world in need of healing!

Mystics are not scary, they are in demand!

Let's Stay Focused!

2010-08-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

One thousand apologies to my readers. I have been away from blogging for too long again. It seems between summer vacation, a new dog that required much of my attention (she is a beautiful golden retriever that we rescued) and taking a class at the local university to stay current with my job... I have let the blog slip! Oh my, yes! I have many, many excuses. And that is all they are, EXCUSES!

I am not sure why, but excuses seem to make us feel better about failing to do what we set out to do. Perhaps it is best to have a list of excuses in our pockets before we begin a project so that we are ready when we don't live up to our goals. The fact of the matter is, I just let the blog go fallow like a field that just had finished a crop of corn.

Here's the deal... I began this blog with the intention of reaching out to anyone who was returning to the Catholic Church and needed some encouragement, or someone who wanted to reach out to someone who was thinking of returning to the Catholic Church. I am also finding a great joy in my faith while exploring the great wealth of spirituality within this grand Church! In doing that, I sometimes can go off on a tangent and find all new blogs to start.
Now, I return (yes, a returning Returning Catholic). But with the return to this blog, I have discovered so many rich possibilities for anyone wishing to return to their Catholic roots--be you a person who physically left the Church or be you someone who wants to return to the excitement and joy that made your faith alive and exciting!

And so, here is my alteration to this blog--- This is for Returning Catholics in the broadest sense of the word. I am inviting anyone who wants to return to the Catholic Church with its many spiritual growth opportunities. And that is what I want to explore with all of you! So, in the motto of my own Benedictine yearnings: "Let us begin again!"

Pro-Life and a View on the Kennedy Funeral

2009-08-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

I have heard many comments since the burial of Sen. Ted Kennedy and the blessing given by the pope in light of Kennedy's record on abortion. I think those who are Roman Catholic politicians ought to sit up and take notice exactly of what happened in the exchange of those letters between Pope Benedict XVI and Sen. Kennedy.

Senator Kennedy wrote to ask for a special blessing from the pontiff with the consideration that he was gravely ill. In the portion of the letter that was revealed, we see a man who pleads his case and admitsfailing, even though he has tried to follow Church teachings. Now, we can never know Senator kennedy's confession, but we can hope that he repented of his stances on abortion and other stances that were contrary to Catholic teaching.

The fact is that Pope Benedict XVI did give his apostolic blessing. This is a significant blessing, indeed. I do not think that he would offer such a blessing unless he felt there was a genuine understanding of the sins commited and the repentence necessary.

If this is the case, then I think it would be important for our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters involved in politics to sit up and take notice. If Sen. Kennedy sought and apostolic blessing, he must have come to the realization that he was out of line in that area of Catholic teaching. And like so many of us, he, too, sought to be made whole again in the Church.

Speaking from the perspective of a returning Catholic, I can admit that I did not follow many of the teaching of the Catholic Church, but when I returned, I also came to the clear realization that some of my stances were not in line with the teachings of the Church. I was fortunate to realize this while still healthy. I could repent of these failings and come to the Sacrament of Penance. I hope it was the case, too, with Senator Kennedy. Now I would pray that all of those who currently support the Pro-Choice agenda would re-consider their position in light of this.

RETURNING AFTER A (TOO LONG) HIATAS!

2009-08-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

One Thousand Apologies! I have been away from blogging since April! So much has happened since I last wrote a blog--I moved into a house! Following my divorce, I lived in an apartment for a couple of years, and then--miracle of miracles a nice little house with a good-sized yard went up for sale. The house needs only some minor cosmetic work/updating, but for the most part, it is gorgeous!

So, now, the Returning Catholic returns to blog. Let me tell you, when I got very busy I also had a somewhat "desert experience" spiritually. I still felt God was in my life, but I began to question my own journey. Specifically, I have been struggling to find a spiritual connection with a third order. I have researched and prayed and read and prayed and talked to people and prayed. Well, I am amazed how God works... God does act in our lives... but wow... I wish God would work in my time! Serious, though, I have been learning patience in these few months that I have been away from the blog. But, God has taught me alot in that time.

My life has been turned upsidedown in the past four years and I think I was looking for a "group" to help me settle down. Since I first heard about Third Orders or Secular Orders I have felt drawn to the idea of strengthening my spiritual walk, while becoming part of a community.

It was through quiet prayer and settling myself down that I realized I have been rushing myself to acheive MY IDEA of what a spiritual life should look like. I have a work-life that doesn't lend itself well to monthly scheduled meetings, and I then felt I would not find a community.

I started and stopped with an online community (which is very reputable) called the Confraternity of Penitents. As I started the inquiry stge with them, I felt a live community would be more helpful, so I became restless and looked for Third Order Carmelites and Third Order Franciscans and Dominicans, etc.

Then I got tired of my restlessness and I was about to give up all hope of this idea of a spiritual community. But, I sat down with God and took a long hard look at my life. I was trying to intellectualize everything about the spiritual and religious life. I also must admit that I was becoming obscessed with me. I was selfish... not a good sign. What did God want me to do? That is when my heart-to-heart with God transformed my focus. The question, "What is your rush?" came to my mind.

I returned to the Confraternity of Penitents, because that is where I felt at home and I was simplifying my life, while at the same time learning how to look for God's Will.

So, now I have a new home, a peaceful yard and a new and improved outlook on life.

If you are know to my blog, welcome! If you are returning to see if I am still alive, I am and welcome back!

God Bless!

Divine Mercy Sunday

2009-04-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

The week following Easter has been designated Divine Mercy Sunday. You may have noticed the banner I use for this blog. This is the Divine Mercy portrait that Jesus asked St. Maria Faustina Kowalska to have painted. The picture is a representation of how Jesus appeared to St. Faustina. Jesus one evening in her cell (bedroom). Jesus had one hand raised to give a blessing, while his other hand was touching his garment at the breast. From beneath the white garment there shone forth two rays of light. One light was red, which represents the blood of Jesus, while the other light was a pale light which represents water. Beneath Jesus the words "Jesus I Trust in You."

We are called by Jesus to trust in his most divine mercy which has its foundation in His perfect love for us. It is good that Divine Mercy Sunday should follow Easter since it is a solid reminder that dear Jesus, through a perfect and divine mercy, saved us and gives us eternal life.

Now, it is our responsibility in the world today to pray this Divine Mercy upon our world. When possible we ought to pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy at 3 pm each day. I try to do this when I can, but I don't often get the chance at that moment. Still, it is good to pray this chaplet when we can. If you are not familiar with the chaplet, I would recommend EWTN's site for Divine Mercy at: http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm.

Pope John Paul the Great made the Sunday following Easter officially Divine Mercy Sunday. This was announced during the canonization of St. Faustina on April 30, 2000. From my personal experience, I can assure you that God does provide a deep blessing when you pray the Divine Mercy chaplet. Divine Mercy will touch you for sure, as well as those for whom you pray.

CHRIST IS RISEN!

2009-04-12T10:43:00.001-07:00

I wish all of you a blessed and joyous Easter! Live with the Spirit of Christ in you and greet one another in the love Jesus the Christ.

Almost There?

2009-03-25T04:10:00.000-07:00

The thing about a spiritual journey is that...well...it's a journey. When I was young, and we were going on a day trip to the shore, my father would load up the '57 Chevy with blankets and some of our toys while my mother would pack sandwiches, snacks and something to drink. The four children would squeeze into the backseat and we'd all settle in for about an hour drive. Of course, when you are going somewhere fun, an hour drive might as well be a trip to Mars or Jupiter! And it never failed, about ten minutes into the trip, one of us kids would yell out from the back, "Are we there yet?"

Coming back to the Catholic Church was also my spiritual re-birth. That sounds strange coming from someone who left the Church and became a Protestant pastor, but it is true. The Catholic Church has such a treasure of spiritual life, that it is mind boggling when you stop and take a look at it. Within that great spiritual treasure chest lies many ways to develop a strong loving Communion with Our Lord. Coming back to the Church was another step on that journey to that holy union with God. Sometimes I stop and wonder how far I am on this journey and from time to time I want to yell out, "Am I there yet?"

I am not there yet. I get excited with anticipation of that full communion with my Lord and Saviour, but that also causes me to get frustrated now and again. Humans are so wonderfully made, and yet, so easily frustrated. I want what I want, when I want it! That is my humanity speaking. We travel on this spiritual journey through life and we think we know where we should be at any given moment. But, I think the journey to a full communion with God is more than just sitting and waiting to arrive. I believe the journey is also when we are given the time to become familiar with God.

When we got too antsy on our trips to the shore, mom would tell us to play a game along the way. One of those games was to look out the window of our car and spot something that began with the letter "A." after someone located that we would continue down the alphabet until we spotted something that began with the letter "Z." This was more than something to occupy our time until we arrived. This was also something to let us see the beauty of the world around us. This was to remind us that the trip to the shore included many wonderful sights of beauty along the way.

When I returned to the Church I discovered that there are many ways offered by the Catholic Church to develop a fuller communion with God. There are many routes within the Faith to forge a relationship with the Almighty. I have been inquiring into a few of the associations and third orders of the Chruch in the hope of finding a group that will help me see the beauty of God's world as I travel. I have discovered a path with the Confraternity of Penitents that uses the Franciscan Rule of 1221. For me, this association of the Catholic Church has opened my eyes to beauty of the journey on my way to Our Lord, while still reminding me of the place where our hearts will find perfect communion and rest.

How is your journey going? What do you see today that begins with the letter "A?"

Never Too Late to Confess

2009-03-02T16:34:00.000-08:00

There is such a beauty in returning to the Catholic Church. I had been away for such a long time, I was literally overwhelmed when the priest I visited offered to give me the Sacrament of Reconciliation. For so many years that term "confession" frightened me. I grew up Catholic and I went to confession fairly regularly. I remember the queesy feeling as I approached the confessional. I remember feeling my heart pounding hard against my chest as I opened the curtain to the confessional box. Oh, and how could I ever forget the swirling of all those sins in my mind as the kneeler squeeked! When I was young it was so scary to spill out all of my sins to the priest.

But when I returned to the Church after twenty-four years away it was a matter of need. I wanted to unburden myself. I wasn't sure what to expect. There wasn't a fear of telling the priest my sins; the question was where to begin? I didn't know if I could possibly recall twenty-four years worth of sin. And here is where the priest is wonderful. The priest led me through the whole process. I did remember how to begin! "Please bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been twenty-four years since my last confession." After that the priest just listed groups of sins as they related to the Ten Commandments. I simply had to think about my past and answer yes or no to each sin that Father mentioned.

When Father finished the list, he gave me my penance and then gave me what I had absolutely longed for--absolution! Oh my! It is just such a great burden that gets lifted from one's shoulders when those words of absolution are pronounced.

In February, it was just three years since I returned to the Church. I have gained such a strong appreciation of the Sacrament of Reconciliation that I try to let no more than a month pass before I return to confession. There is an amazing spiritual strength a person gains with the frequent reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If you are just returning to the Catholic Church or perhaps just thinking about it, I would encourage you to talk with a priest about this sacrament. Ask a priest what to expect and how he handles the sacrament when a person has been away for a long time. A priest once told a penitent who had been away for a long time that the saints and angels were rejoicing at the foot of God's throne when the penitient returned. Imagine that! I hope if you are considering a return to the catholic Church you will speak with a priest and take him up on the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I would love to know that the saints and angels are having a party because you are coming back!

Recollection and the Returning Catholic

2009-02-03T06:58:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the autobiography of st. Teresa of Avila. She speaks much good about our need to recollect. So, I had been away from the Church for a while, but I never remembered hearing about recollecting anything! Needless to say, since St. Teresa mentioned it, I had to investigate. It is such a confusing word for such a wonderful life-giving exercise.

To recollect is simply to remind yourself of the presence of God within your life and within all that you say and do. Now, I shouldn't really say 'simply,' because recollection is a lifelong process of seeking God within your life and often requires effort on your part. The benefits, however, are legion. There are two degrees of recollection. The first is an active recollect in which we place ourselves in solitude before God and place our attention before Him. This requires only the ordinary graces God gives us. The second type of recollection is a passive recollection and this requires special graces given by God which places us before Him.

As a returning Catholic, I know that I need God's help to get through my daily life. I know what it was like to be without the feeling of God's presence in my life. I am not saying God was not with me, but I was not intentionally aware of God in my life. And this makes all the difference in the world. As I practice the presence of God in my life, I pay more attention to the needs of others around me--for the sake of God. I am not perfect, but I am certainly more aware of God drawing me in certain directions. I am also aware, more than ever before, of God's love surrounding me and protecting me in every situation.

Once again, I wish that I had know all these things years ago. I am just happy now that I did finally learn about it. Perhaps God will bless my years in the desert. Now I have the gift of recollection to get to know and love God on a new level.

OUT OF DARKNESS

2009-01-24T07:33:00.000-08:00

We live in a world of opposites. If there were no opposites, we would never be able to understand relationships. Would there be only good? Would there be only hot? Would there be only light? Our God has distinguished opposites to help us live find eternal life where we can experience the positive aspects of all that is.Can I truly appreciate a warm summer day if I did not have to experience the frigid winter? Could I ever really appreciate good health, if I had not suffered the pain of a herniated disk in my back? And could I ever completely appreciate the unconditional love and light of God had I not left His light and wandered in the depths of darkness and dispair?

Most certainly there is darkness in the world. That old addage of misery loves company applies to the darkness. Those who reside in the darkness I doubt like it, but they cannot see the way out and they do not want the loneliness of darkness...so they will try to pull anyone they can into the darkness with them.

Think of being trapped in a dark cellar with no electricity. Someone upstairs discovers that you are down they and opens the door and you can see that there is electricity and light upstairs, so you walk toward the light, hoping to escape the darkness. Unfortunately there is no light switch for the basement, so you must stumble and you fall many times as you do not have enough light to escape. You fall so often that you tire out and get frustrated. You cry out that you want to give up trying! So, the person from upstairs gets a flashlight and comes down to rescue you.

From that crude analogy, I would suggest that if the person upstairs has no flashlight or avery weak flashlight as he tries to go down and rescue you, he might easily stumble and fall himself and be in te same predicament as you. But, if the person upstairs is wise he will be prepared and come to rescue you with a strong flashlight and guid you to the safety of the lighted upstairs.

My point in all of this is that if we are to combat the darkness and not fall into the pit is to prepare ourselves if we are to bring others to the light. If we don't have a flashlight (faith and love) that is strong enough, we cannot help another who has no light (faith and love) at all. We do need the Church, because the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, gave the Church that light to pass on to all of us. We need to strenghten and prepare ourselves in and through the Church if we are to be Christ for our world.

As we conclude a week that saw a change of power in the White House, a wonderful March for Life on Washington, D.C., and still so much darkness throught the world, let us let's us be about the task of strenghtening our light through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Preach It!

2009-01-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

I have been studying the Order of Preachers (a.k.a. Dominicans) for a while. At first, I had difficulty warming up to them. One of their primary charisms is preaching. This seemed too intellectual and not spiritual enough for me. But, the more I studied them, the more I came to appreciate them and love the order. My problem was that I failed to understand the real depth of preaching! And I must confess that it was a failure I had when I left the Catholic Church and briefly became a Protestant pastor. I needed to expand my understanding of "preaching" to include both the verbal and non-verbal aspects of it.

There is a tremendous amount of deep spirituality involved in true preaching of the gospel message of Jesus Christ. It is meant to be for all Christians of every walk of life. Preaching must include how we preach with our lives. By that I mean we must express the gospel message of God's love for us through our daily living. Too often we can miss opportunities to share our faith with others by forgetting the object of our love and faith--God! How often have we maybe done the opposite and taught people that God is not real or with us?

Most people are very observant when it comes to how we react under many kinds of situations. If they know we are Christian, we are especially scrutinized. "Oh look! And that person says they are a Christian, but look how she/he acts!" When we are put into situations that are stressful or require us to be dilligent, fair, just, or compassionate, how do we respond? Do we just jump in and do what is expected, and if it gets too frustrating, do we pack it in and quit?

Do we pray about the situation and ask God to become a part of all of our actions? This requires lots of practice! Many of us do not initially think about God as we are confronted with a situation. Many of us wait until we are in REAL deep before we ask God for help. Usually, we have already become frustrated and ranted and cursed and created a scene that is anything but a gospel message. But, if we turn to God in all parts of our life and we pray to God and ask God to be in our lives, we can become a preaching moment for anyone who is having trouble with their own faith life.

Their is a very deep spirituality in this kind of preaching, and it is available to anyone who would simply include God and prayer in their lives throughout the day. For a returning Catholic like me, the Order of preachers has taught me a valuable lesson for my faith and how I live it.

Back in Action!

2009-01-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the prolonged absence, but I have had a busy last few weeks. I hope everyone has had a blessed Christmas season. Epiphany has just past. Epiphany is my favorite day. Well, it's my birthday, too so I can always remember it. but there is more to Epiphany than my birthday. Epiphany has always been explained to me as the "Ah-Ha! moment" It is that realization that God is indeed among us. A saviour is born to us and it is Chrst, the Lord. For a returning Catholic, I have received several epiphanies over the past few years. The greatest is that I came to realize that the Catholic Church does, in fact, contain a richness of spirituality provided through the grace of God in Christ, Jesus.

Once back in the Church, my priest invited me to take my tim and get to know the Church again. There is such a tendency to want to jump in and experience everything that the Church has to offer all at once. Now, I don't know about you, but I want everything like yesterday. I am sure that I missed out on a lot in life simply because I wanted to rush to experience all that I could as quickly as I could. The advice from the priest was sound. In fact, it was because of his advice that I did some soul searching and discovered my need to find balance and simpicity in my life. And this is where the richness of the Church's spirituality came to the rescue for me!

I knew I needed balance and simplicity and, of course, God. With this in mind I began a quest within the confines of my Catholic faith. Sure enough, there was group that could support, encourage and help me in my quest. There were several possibilities and my struggle was in finding just the right fit. All of the groups I looked at were Catholic and were approved by the magisterium, but it is helpful to have the group that allows you to grow spiritually and have those epiphanies of God that help us develop a relationship with God.

For me, the Benedictine's have a lay group called oblates. This group has helped me to experience a structured way to live so that I could slow down my pace, seek God and simplify my life so that I could hear that still small voice that is God. There are many associations, teritery orders and groups within the Catholic Church that can accommodate many and varied interests.

The beauty of my life now is that I can relax in God. I know I am not perfect and I know that God is aware of this fact! But, now I have a place within my Catholic faith to slowly begin to reorganize myself. I would encourage you to explore the Catholic Church and all of its associations, religious orders, lay orders and organizations. See if there isn't something that you would fit your spiritual needs.

God Bless! Pax!

A Blessed Christmas to All

2008-12-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

May the Christchild be born anew in your heart. May you be enfolded by the true love of God and may that love be shared with those who have no one on the eve of a most blessed day when God was poured out in flesh for all people.

May God Bless you and your family and friends!

No More "Do It Yourself" Christianity

2008-12-19T04:01:00.001-08:00

One of the big complaints I heard about the Catholics when I left the Catholic Church was "Catholics just blindly follow the pope." Naturally, I had to think about that. In the new religious circles I hung out in I found myself agreeing that the Holy See did seem to be the prime interpreter of Holy Scripture. Thye other part of that complaint was that Catholics were not scripturally based. Well, I was able to convince myself that it seemed true. I knew that I did not read the Bible growing up, so therefore, it must be true.

Oh, there is so much false about those complaints and my going along with those complaints. First of all, the richness and the stability of the Catholic Church comes from the fact that it is the Holy See who interprets Scripture. I think that many people forget their Christian history. First of all, our New Testament did not get put together immediately following the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In fact it was through the Holy See that the canon of Scripture was decided. It was decided through the teachings handed down through an episcopal and apostolic succession. This episcopal and apostolic succession is better known today as tradition. The Holy Spirit was promised to the Church so that this "tradition" would be sure and certain it its practice and interpretation.

When I decided I need to return to the Catholic Church it was through the knowledge that those complaints about the pope and the Holy See were misinformed. When I had first left the Church, I bought into the idea that I could interpret Scripture according to my own feelings about life and God. The problem is that the 'winds of doctrine" from so many theologians were spinning around the world. There were so many schools of thought and many of them allowed the every changing whims of society to be reflected in the theology du jour. let me say that again...most theologies today have allowed the whims of society to shape the theology, rather than allow the theology to shape the society.

It dawned on me when I began my return to the Church that just like a child who doesn't get his own way, he will cry and complain how unfair or unjust the parent is, so it is with society and the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church has taken heat on many of its stands. The Church has been called unable to change and a dinosaur. The fact is, the Church has not allowed society to be the arbitor of Scriptural interpretation or moral decisions. And while society has been in flux trying to find itself, the Church has remained and will remain the ROCK. Hmmmmm, the ROCK... now where did I read in the Bible something about the ROCK?

PAX!

Not perfect is a Good Start

2008-12-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

I must admit that I found it difficult to take the first steps in returning to the Catholic Church. As I mentioned in previous blogs, most of my hesitation to return to the Church revolved around so much misinformation about the Church. When I left the church I wandered far and I tried many alternatives to Catholicism, from New Age to Protestantism and everything in between. I go married to a divorced woman, and then I became a pastor of a Protestant church. in so many ways I ex-communicated myself from the Catholic Church. I know many, many people who made rather poor choices in life, simply because they failed to gather enough or at least the right information before ploughing ahead.

I am the first to raise my hand and announce that I chose to stay away from the Church because I was sure the Catholic Church did not want me back. In my mind I was an unforgivable sinner for the Catholic Church. I heard all the rules, so I thought. I heard all the horror stories from former Catholics who entered into the Protestant church where I was the pastor. I suppose it was a simple case of "misery loves company." I was fed a very negative image of the Catholic Church and I accepted the complaints of others as the truth!

Between my mother's prayers for me and the intervention of a dear friend, I softened enough to listen to people who were still in the Church. It is amazing how much the joy in a person's life can show on their face and can be heard in their voice. It was the joy I was missing. Naturally, I wondered if the Catholic Church had changed, or had I never really known the Catholic Church at all?

Sure there are things that cause ex-communication in the Church, but that does not mean that the Church desires that you remain ex-communicated. On the contrary, the Church wants to welcome Catholics who left the Church back in. Fact of the matter is that the Church is based entirely on the idea that human beings are sinners by nature! People sin and the Church wants to heal the pain and set the sinner onto a healthy and wholesome path.

The wonderful priest who welcomed me back has a church whose Sunday attendance has risen from about 400 a week to well over 5000 a week in less than 10 years. The dear priest has added so many Masses to make it convenient for everyone who wants to attend Mass to attend. Even more impressive is the attendance at Confession (the Sacrament of Reconciliation). He is the only priest at that church and he listened to at least 35 confessions this past Tuesday evening when I went. At Mass on Sundays (and during the week), he takes the time to talk to as many people as he can before and after Mass. He welcomes all of us and reminds us that we must come as we are...sinners. I needed to hear that! The church was made for sinners. Conversion of sinners is what Christ is all about... well that and to praise and worship!

Fear of return, or the sense that we are unworthy to return is something that needs to be dispelled. The Catholic Church has gotten a bad rap over the years about the rules to exclude. The Church is working very hard to include.

Now, I do have to say that I had to make some changes in myself! I couldn't go on living as I did. But, conversion, or in the case or returning Catholics, reversion, it is a dynamic and ongoing process. If anything can be learned it is to have patients and pray! It is also important to find the encouragers of the Church! God knows we have had enough discouragers!

PAX!

Seeing God in the Rearview Mirror

2008-12-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

How in the world did my life turn out as it did? Is life random? Sometimes it appears that way. But, when I sit and think about it, no it really isn't random. I can see a divine plan...sometimes.

I like to explain life in metaphors sometimes. I think of my dediscovery of the Cathloic Church in metaphorical terms. One metaphor or another makes life so much more understandable. Jesus did it in his parables, so if it is done right, it ought to be useful. I look at my return to the Catholic Church and my life in general as a journey. It reminds me of how I drive. I get in the car and I know I have to get to work in the morning. I used to live about 50 minutes from my job. That was quite a haul. Much of that trip was back roads, with occasional highway driving.

When I go to work I usually keep my eyes on the road in front of me (always a good idea). But, on a 50 minute car ride, I find that my mind wanders. I do believe that if we travel the same road enough, sometimes our minds go on autopilot. Well. one day I was travelling along and I began thinking about one of my many problems awaiting me when I got to work. I replayed probable scenarios of how to handle the impending issues at work. Suddenly, I noticed a herd of cattle walking down a side street and close on the driver's side of my car. Needless to say, my wandering mind re-focused on the reality at hand. I slowed the car down and immediately looked in my rearview mirror to see if my mind was playing tricks on me or I really did see cattle in the road. (I should mention I did pass a few farms on the way to work, but cattle in the road was never something I saw before).

I stopped the car and continued to look in the rearview mirror. Nothing! Then suddenly, from the side street, there was the first cow, followed by another, and then another. I got out of the car and walked toward the intersection. I saw that just down that side street a fence had broken and out came the cows. I immediately called 911 to get some help.

My life has often been like my ride that day. I usually went through life and just worried about everything but the moment at hand. Then suddenly I wondered how did I get to this point in my life? It was when I looked in the rearview mirror of my life that I saw God had taken me to this place or that place. God had brought this person and that person into my life. It was through the rearview miirror that I realized what was happening while my mind was on other things in life.

Take a look in your rearview mirror every now and again. You mind be surprised how you got where you are. My only suggestion might be, and I am still learning to do this myself through my new life as a Benedictine Oblate... live as much as you can in the present moment. But more importantly...keep you eye on God in each moment. After all, He is the one who is directing the traffic!

PAX!

A Good Resource for Returnees

2008-12-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

I was so easily led astray when I left the Catholic Church. There were plenty of people who were quite sure that they knew the Catholic Church and they were sure it was backward, and anti-biblical. Of course I didn't get a great biblical education growing up, so I assumed their statements were true. I admit at that time in my life I did not want to hear both sides of the story.

When I returned to the church after about 25 years away, I began to read the wonderful Catechism of the Catholic Church. This is such a magnificent document! I grew up with the old Baltimore Catechism, but this new Catechism is so comprehensive and speaks very clearly to the many issues which confront the modern Catholic today. Everytime I pick up the catechism I always say, "I wish I had this document years ago!" It is true. I may have had some difficulty in accepting some of the statements in it in my early 20's, but it is such an honest, straight-forward document. I also think that in my maturity, I gained a more intense respect for the Church's bravery to stand up as a beacon in the midst of a dark, immoral world.

Perhaps we can begin to discuss the many themes of our culture today and what our Church has to say about it.

God Bless!
Jim

Birthday of Someone Who Drew Me Back

2008-12-09T16:59:00.000-08:00

Well, birthday, but not the traditional kind. On December 10, 1968 the dear soul Thomas Merton was birthed from this life into eternity. One of the books I read while I was wandering away from the Catholic Church was Merton's Seven Storey Mountain. This is essentially Merton's autobiography. Merton was a man who came to the Catholic Church and before he became a Trappist monk, he lived quite a bohemian life. I think that is where I identified with him. Merton was definitely a "regular guy," who was gripped by God and felt a strong need to be closer to God.

Merton's popularity grew especially after his death, when his books became quite popular. In his own time, Merton skated on the edge of his faith and often pushed the envelope of accepted Catholic social teaching. At the untimely end of his life, Merton was in the process of creating interfaith dialogue with the Buddhists. I am not saying Merton desired to be a Buddhist, rather I am saying he wanted to create an atmosphere where God could be shared and we could begin to listen with our hearts.

I recommend any of Merton's writings to you, and her was a prolific writer. If you are a newly returned Catholic, thinking about a return, or a non catholic who finds the Catholic Church interesting, I highly suggest you start with The Seven Storey Mountain. Maybe it's me, but I can hear God's gentleness and mercy speaking through Merton's words.

So many people who come to the Catholic Church or return to the Church can look back over the years and see God's Hand guiding them carefully to a place of wholeness and healing in the Church. It is an awesome feeling! And when you read Merton, there are many places you can feel God's Hand touching Thomas Merton.

My Journey Back-Part 3

2008-12-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

Now, let me bring to up to date. As I said in my last installment, I was longing to have the Eucharist back in my life. I no longer wanted a symbol of Jesus Christ with me, I wanted Jesus Christ with me! And it happened with a call from a friend from my past who remembered me from twenty-five years before. She knew I was a Catholic. She knew I used to attend Mass regularly and she simply said, "Why don't you come to Mass with me some morning?" I did just that. I travelled about two hours to the church I grew up in to go to 7:30 AM Mass. My eyes were riveted on the priest as he stood before the altar and spoke the words that changed this simple bread and wine into the true Body and Blood of Jesus Christ.

My friend understood my position and she knew I was going to be divorced. She also knew how I left the church. But, she also told me I should speak with a wonderful priest she knew who was very understanding and very good in explaining the real stance of the Church on many issues. It was true! I had never bothered to get the Catholic Church's stance on anything. I made many decisions about what I could and could not do on the preconceived notions that I had.

This very gentle and caring priest met with me and I told him my whole life story in all its tragedy, grief, sin and pain. And in the midst of my story, I looked into his eyes and I am certain I could see Christ smiling back at me! The priest allowed me to finish and said very clearly to me, "You are most certainly welcome to come back to the Church! Its been twenty-some years now, would you like to make a confession and start again fresh?" WOW! Start fresh! Twenty-five years of sadness, loneliness, pain, confusion, loss melted away. Yes! It really did. It was a moment that was literally life-saving! I was a Catholic in good standing again. The issue of divorce still needed to be addressed, but as long as I was not re-marrying at that moment, I could still receive the Blessed Sacrament!

I was home again in the Catholic Church. I knew I could no longer be a pastor in a place where I no longer had the same theology of the Eucharist. It wasn't fair to that church or me. After a discussion with the council of that church, I left them and returned to the Catholic Church.

My eyes are now wide open in the Church today. I now see so many things available to me that I never noticed before. I said to my friend, if I had known so many of these ways to serve the church were open to me, I doubt I would have left. One of the things I wanted was to grow spiritually. I began to look at the Catholic ways to grow. And I discovered the Benedictine Oblates. This is a group of women and men who associate and support a Benedictine monastery while living outside the monastery and living a secular life. The difference is an Oblate will follow the Rule of St. Benedict, pray the daily prayers of the Church, and learn to seek God's presence in various ways. But this is for another installment.

Ok! There you go! That is my story. I re-discovered my love of the Eucharist and I found my way back home. I mentioned in my first installment that I am sure my mother had something to do with my return. Let me say this very clearly. I am 100% certain that we can pray others back to the Faith. When I left the Church my mother wanted me to be happy, but she knew that the Truth (note capital T) lay entirely in the Eucharist. She prayed for me to re-discover that Truth for which I throught was outside of the Catholic Church. Unfortunately, my mother died five years before I returned to the Church. But, it was near my mother's birthday on a warm and sunny May morning that my friend took me into Mass in my home church. I think it was a happy birthday for my mom that day! Her prayers were answered!

You know, everybody has a unique and beautiful story about their coming to the Catholic Church. There are so many people like me who are genuine in their search for Truth. I have learned the tragedy of taking the Eucharist for granted, and I have learned the indescribable joy in meeting Jesus Christ again in that Most Blessed Sacrament.

It is my hope that this blog will be a way for everyone to learn the true teachings of the Catholic Church. I hope that everyone will discover ways to bring family and friends who left the Church back into the fold. I hope this blog becomes a way for anyone who is away from the Church to find a way to at least re-connect with their heritage.

Until tomorrow!
God Bless You!

My Journey Back-Part 2

2008-12-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

It is not easy to find happiness and wholeness in this world of ours. And I searched all over until I found a peace that really does pass all understanding. Now, I will pick up where I left off on my journey back to my Catholic faith. I had tried the New Age philosophies. But, my sensibilities were jarred too much. I knew I needed Christ. Christ for me is the center. But, since I left the Catholic Church and since I married outside the church, and to a divorced woman, I figured that any return to the Roman Catholic Church was out of the question. This was especially true since the woman I married had converted to Catholicism with her first husband, and after her divorce she refused to get an annulment. She found that idea to be hypocritical. I just went along for the ride on that issue because I just wanted to be married (not a good reason for marriage!).

I became a Lutheran first, because I figured that Luther was a Catholic in the beginning, so I must be in good company. It was about that time that I thought I might want to go into the ministry. A Lutheran pastor offered to help me prepare for the step toward ordained ministry. I practiced Lutheran liturgical functions and I even gave a sermon or two, which now seem so ridiculous.

After three years in that church, the pastor became a charismatic/pentecostal in a sudden conversion. He insisted that God wanted him to begin a new church that got away from the Lutheran and Catholic ritualism and returned to basics. I was so impressionable at that time that I agreed to join this pastor. I put aside the idea of seminary and helped this pastor start his new church. It sounded like such a good idea, but there is a problem when pastors have no one above them to oversee there actions! Needless to say, this pastor became very authoritarian and began to interpret the Bible according to his understanding. Naturally, he felt that God had given him special powers to interpret the Bible. I became very skeptical and ran quickly from that church!

I was hurt by that experience and I felt betrayed by my own ability to discern spiritual matters. At the same time I wanted to serve God. I wanted to find a home where I could find a way to learn more about God and reach out to others. I found a rather liberal denomination that I figured would accept someone like me. I was a former Catholic who wanted to be a pastor. This liberal denomination accepted me and allowed me to go to seminary. This became both a blessing and a curse for me.

I was warned when I began seminary that the object there was to first tear down all you believe, then provide you with new ideas, then finally you were to rebuild a new theology. In the process I was taught how wrong the Catholic Church had been over the years. I was taught how the Catholic Church refused to change with the times and it became a dinosaur and irrelevant in today's world.

Here is the important part! Here is where my Catholic faith re-awakened inside me. I became a Protestant pastor, yes. I felt out of place, however. Something inside me was unsettled. I was successful in my pastorate. My congregation was very supportive of my ministry, but I was not happy at all. From the first day I began as a Protestant pastor, I knew what I was missing. It was the Eucharist. The Eucharist as it is celebrated in the Roman Catholic Church is the centerpiece of the faith. I needed the very presence of Jesus Christ within me. Jesus was not available to me in the symbolic communion I was performing. I was now about twenty-five years away from the Catholic Church and I felt sad, alone and hopeless.

In the meantime my marriage had been falling apart. If I was on a ship at sea without a rudder. In my poor understanding of the Catholic Church I didn't think that I could ever return. I thought I was doomed to go through the motions of a pastor in a religion that held no close relationship to God for me. I would often drive past the local Catholic church in the town I worked in and wish I could just come home! I would go to meetings with nuns and priests, but I was afraid to approach them with my thoughts of returning. For the longest time I was like the young boy looking through the window at the candy in the candy store.

In my next installment I will explain the sudden and dramatic events that brought me back to the Catholic Church. I hope this story can bless you and help you in your journey, whether you are returning to the Church, thinking about it, or know someone who may be considering a return.

May God Bless You!

WELCOME!

2008-12-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome All Who Come Here!

I am starting this blog maining because this would be something I wish I had when I was thinking about returning to the Catholic Church. If you read my brief biography, you can see I left the Church when many young people tend to wander off. This is not unusual; many people go looking for the deep answers to life.
For me, I felt the Catholic Church was filled with rites without meaning. There were many people (friends and aquaintances) who were more than willing to agree with me. Unfortunately for me, I did not give any serious listen to the Catholic Church's side. These other friends were staunch anti-Catholic Protestants, New Age promoters and well meaning former Catholics who were hurt by the Church.
My dear mother, I know now was hurt by my decision to leave the Church, but she never said a word to me. She wanted to be supportive of my decisions in life. I also have no doubt that she prayed every day for me to find peace in my soul.
In my immediate search, I decided to go to opposite end of the religious spectrum in my search for truth. I dabbled in the occult. An older and wiser looking co-worker told me about a religion called ECKKANCAR. WOW! That was fascinating to a young twenty-one year old. The belief of this groupm was that you could reach perfect knowledge by following the teachings of certain dead Masters who acheived this perfect knowledge. This religion had it all! It promised out-of-body experiences, essentially gnostic insights and knowledge. There was "body harmonics." I am still not sure what that was about!
That phase waned quickly because it did not provide me with anything substantial...like truth. It only gave me a few psychosomatic highs, but no real answers. I decided I needed something more conventional. At the same time, I also felt as though I had abandoned my one true faith. If you are a Catholic who has left the faith, I think you may know what I am talking about. There is a feeling deep inside that says, "You are a Catholic."
In my next installment, I will take you further into my journey back to the Catholic Church. Stay tuned... many strange and unusual things happen.
You may be a returning Catholic, thinking about returning, know someone who might return, or you are new to the Catholic Church... no matter who you are, please share your feelings, hopes and desires about the Catholic Church. God places us here to help one another. Perhaps you need someone to help you now, or you may be that person who will help another who was searching like me.